Not many pictures this week, but here is Hayden after his Atlanta trip!
He had a great time and was able to use some of his Jujitsu moves too. He is now even more motivated to continue Jujitsu than ever.
All of the kids are doing well in school and transitioned well into our new mom goes to work program. A nice neighbor of ours picks the kids up from school for me and keeps the kids at her house until I get there to pick them up. They are there about an hour after school. I think I have the hardest time just being able to enjoy the moments while also trying to keep schedules, pack backpacks, plan breakfast, make dinner,etc.. I think this is the hardest part. I think I struggle with that the most. Just really being able to listen when my kids are talking to me and still being able to stay on task. My brain doesn't seem to be able to do that very well, but I'm a quality time type of person so it drives me a little crazy. My house seems a little cluttered like my brain lately. Well enough about nothing.
I've really been wanting to take a picture of the school I work at, well actually the surroundings. There is this perfect house on the street as I go to work and it is one of those houses where if I took a picture the picture would say a thousand words. I'm not sure I'll ever get the picture as I am too afraid to take it. Anyways it is a very dilapidated old house. I actually can't even believe it is still standing. There are old cars around the house and the house has a porch with furniture covered with different colored sheets. There is tons of yard trash, and when I drive by in the mornings there are little African American boys about 1, 3, and 4 jumping on the furniture in front of their house in their undies/diapers. There is also a lady that sits out on the path in front of the house smoking, and then it seems like there are always different teenagers, and men coming or going?
So onto the school and the students. I've always known people had hard lives, but I've never really experienced it first hand, or to the point where you think to yourself I think I am the minority. I guess I've always really believed most people want a family and would really do anything for their family, but I'm afraid that is probably not true. I don't think I've met one student that does not come from some kind of broken or tragic circumstance. I know I've only been at the school for about a week and a half, but I see about 30 or more students a day. Of course I don't know everything about all of them, but the sampling I have met all fit into this category. Here is just a quick sampling.
(Story#1) One girl lives with her mother and 4 sisters, her and her 4 sisters each have a different father. Her mother is 31 and her oldest sister is 18. The mom just remarried a man who does not work. She told me he does do yard work around the house. The mom is going to school and that is how she gets her money to pay for them to live. This girl had been to the ER for a bad infection and was still very sick and no one would come get her from school. She said she felt like she had no one. She had tried to live with her Dad but he moved away. I asked if she could live with her grandma and she said her grandma would not allow anyone to live with her since her older sister had tried to burn down her grandma's house. (#2 A boy 12) This boys mother is serving time in jail for selling drugs. When he was 7 years old his mother dropped him and his twin brother off at his fathers home who he rarely had seen and she never came back. He said she used to buy them all sorts of really nice things so he should have known she was selling drugs. I'm sure at 7 you should be able to know that your nice things are from your mother selling drugs. He now lives with his Dad, his Dads mom, his twin brother, and his uncle who is depressed and just eats all the time. He said when he was younger his Dad would beat him with a wooden spoon until it broke for not doing well in school. He says now that he is just grounded all the time and he does not get hit much. He does have two older brothers that have a different Dad that he completely admires. One just left for Afghanistan and when he is around he takes them places and he bought him a brand new pair of shoes right before he left. His father is the only one in the household that works. He said all his dad does is work. He said he makes $333 a week! He also said that sometimes they run out of food because his uncle who is depressed just sit around and eats all the food. He said when he grows up he is going to join the Army just like his brother. His mom should be getting out of jail in 2 years and he is excited, but he said if she sells drugs again than it is over. (#3) Boy with a huge gash in his leg. I mean huge. A piece of metal fell from somewhere and took a huge gash out of his leg. Can't go to the Dr. because he doesn't have insurance. (#4) A girl who lives with her grandma, dad, and 2 siblings because her mother passed away from accidentally overdosing on diet pills. I wish I could elaborate on some of my stories but I just don't have time. I did want to get a few down just to remind myself to not be to hard on myself. Sometimes I feel like I'm not being a good mom when I don't get every food group on the table or when I'm not able to be there after school, and I'm not saying I should strive for less, but sometimes it is good to recognize how much you really are doing for your children. Some of these poor kids don't even have a chance. They have never experienced any kind of love in their lives. They don't even know what love is. It seriously makes me want to cry and I just want to reach out and hug these kids, but I can't because I'll be sued or accused of molesting someone (what a crazy world we live in). I hope I never get so wrapped up in my own life that I forget about those that can't help themselves. The gospel is such a huge blessing in our lives. It has set such a wonderful standard that as I live away from "the bubble" I am better able to recognize what it has truly meant in my life and the lives of my children.
(Story#1) One girl lives with her mother and 4 sisters, her and her 4 sisters each have a different father. Her mother is 31 and her oldest sister is 18. The mom just remarried a man who does not work. She told me he does do yard work around the house. The mom is going to school and that is how she gets her money to pay for them to live. This girl had been to the ER for a bad infection and was still very sick and no one would come get her from school. She said she felt like she had no one. She had tried to live with her Dad but he moved away. I asked if she could live with her grandma and she said her grandma would not allow anyone to live with her since her older sister had tried to burn down her grandma's house. (#2 A boy 12) This boys mother is serving time in jail for selling drugs. When he was 7 years old his mother dropped him and his twin brother off at his fathers home who he rarely had seen and she never came back. He said she used to buy them all sorts of really nice things so he should have known she was selling drugs. I'm sure at 7 you should be able to know that your nice things are from your mother selling drugs. He now lives with his Dad, his Dads mom, his twin brother, and his uncle who is depressed and just eats all the time. He said when he was younger his Dad would beat him with a wooden spoon until it broke for not doing well in school. He says now that he is just grounded all the time and he does not get hit much. He does have two older brothers that have a different Dad that he completely admires. One just left for Afghanistan and when he is around he takes them places and he bought him a brand new pair of shoes right before he left. His father is the only one in the household that works. He said all his dad does is work. He said he makes $333 a week! He also said that sometimes they run out of food because his uncle who is depressed just sit around and eats all the food. He said when he grows up he is going to join the Army just like his brother. His mom should be getting out of jail in 2 years and he is excited, but he said if she sells drugs again than it is over. (#3) Boy with a huge gash in his leg. I mean huge. A piece of metal fell from somewhere and took a huge gash out of his leg. Can't go to the Dr. because he doesn't have insurance. (#4) A girl who lives with her grandma, dad, and 2 siblings because her mother passed away from accidentally overdosing on diet pills. I wish I could elaborate on some of my stories but I just don't have time. I did want to get a few down just to remind myself to not be to hard on myself. Sometimes I feel like I'm not being a good mom when I don't get every food group on the table or when I'm not able to be there after school, and I'm not saying I should strive for less, but sometimes it is good to recognize how much you really are doing for your children. Some of these poor kids don't even have a chance. They have never experienced any kind of love in their lives. They don't even know what love is. It seriously makes me want to cry and I just want to reach out and hug these kids, but I can't because I'll be sued or accused of molesting someone (what a crazy world we live in). I hope I never get so wrapped up in my own life that I forget about those that can't help themselves. The gospel is such a huge blessing in our lives. It has set such a wonderful standard that as I live away from "the bubble" I am better able to recognize what it has truly meant in my life and the lives of my children.
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