Sometimes Life is Hard!

Sometimes I feel sorry for myself or am scared about the future.  I hate not knowing the future.  My whole life I've wanted that security in knowing what is going to happen next.  I guess that really never happens.  We may have a sick child, disabilities, financial struggles, family problems, etc.  I was having one of those extra hard busy days where the world seemed impossible to bear when I looked out to see my visiting teachers pull up.  It was very bad timing, and I thought of pretending like I was not home, but my car was in the driveway and I had just peeked out the window and I thought I saw the lady in the car point at me.  I thought about turning the shower on and pretending I was in the shower, but in the end I just answered the door.  I was thinking maybe they were inspired to come by because it was such a bad time to come by.  I know that seems a little weird, but they rarely come and if they do it's just out of the blue so why would they be coming by at such an awful time.  It must be inspired ( :  Well I told them to come in but that I had to answer the phone etc. because I was trying to get some paperwork  out for a job blah blah blah.  They came in and said they would be quick.  So we sat down and we were talking a little about jobs.  The one lady who has 7 children is very smart (yet struggles financially) said she had thought about substitute teaching but couldn't get a job because she did not have a four year degree.  I was so grateful for my four year degree at this moment.  The other woman piped in with that she was so very grateful for her drapery business. She was very talkative and I think I heard a lot of her life story in a very short time.  I will only share a little. In short she has her business which she does full time while taking care of her husband that is in complete kidney failure on dialysis.  They don't have insurance and man did her life seem difficult.  I think I could write a book about the people I meet down here.  It's very hard for me to not tell it all, but I don't have time.  Her life seemed so hard to me, but she gets up every day and continues on with a smile. Later that day I took Hayden to Scouts and ran into our Elders Quorum President who had left work and was covered in dirt with a huge smile on his face.  He works a 12 hour shift 7 days a week of intense labor for $12/hr and still manages to go to church meetings covered in dirt with a smile on his face.  I can endure and my children will be O.K.  I can do this!  I can do this!   I know this goes out to some of my family and sometimes I wish I did not send it out automatically, because I don't like to share hard things.  I really only like to share the funny things about my kids and happy stuff.  Sometimes it's more fun to pretend your life is just like the Christmas card you send out every year.  I guess we learn from the hard stuff or I guess sometimes we don't!  Happy Day to y'all!